harmony: “Ichiban Boshi” by Sachi Tainaka
And so it’s my birthday… and… it’s… nothing. I only heard from few people and sadly no one from our school. It’s okay. I can still bear that. Yes, indeed my family did greet me… but why am I feeling this discontentment and disappointment? I don’t know… but I don’t like this feeling… It’s making me cry… T___T
When I first woke up, my sister was already going to sleep. She did greet me and fell asleep immediately. When I walk out of the room, I was alone… Pretty serene… and silent, that is. I checked my cellphone, and saw many greetings. Yes, it made my day. I was happy and smile can be seen on my newly-wake-up face. I ate breakfast a little and cleaned the living room and this computer I am using right now for a few hours. I picked up the dried laundry and did some of the usual household chores so that I could help out a little.
I ate lunch and my little sister arrived from school and we ate lunch together. It was still fun although it was still very silent that time. No noise can be heard except from our mouths chewing our food.
Before evening, my parents arrived from their “duty” and greeted me once again. And they bought me a pancit malabon on their way. Due to lack of sleep, they immediately fell asleep as well. And there I was, watching TV until I used my computer just now.
I was very excited for tomorrow’s event and can’t wait for it… But not anymore. My other friends informed me that they cannot make it tomorrow. I know they have their reasons for not making it but… I still can’t take away the disappointment that is filling my heart right now… Not only one, but two, three and almost all of them are not making it.
As I type this content right now, my teary-eyed explode more than expected. I know I’m still going to see them this Saturday so what’s this fuss all about? Maybe it’s because I can’t celebrate my birthday in my own appointed plan and not on my own wanted place. Yes, I’m going to see them on Saturday but on a different place. Much further place than the appointed one. And it’s my fault by putting such big expectations… Yes, I still have my own faults on this one unexpectedly.
I don’t want to think that they don’t want to go to “my appointed” place because its faraway from them since I can go overboard anytime with them. Or is it because my birthday was not in the right date and position? I can’t blame it but I really wanted to blame my birthdate. Why should my birthday near Christmas? I’m not that generous anyway. But do I really deserve the disappointment I’m feeling right now? Maybe.
There’s too many things that I want to say right now but all of them are voicing the same point… I’m not mad… just disappointed. *gets hanky* So even if it’s my birthday, I’ll just have to be the drama king.
Another Trivia: This is not the first time that I cried on my birthday. But I admit this one is different from those birthdays. Different cause and different commotions. That’s it. And why am I crying? Because I can’t take away the disappointment that I am feeling plus what I am listening to right now is for the sad ones… Yes, I do get sappy at times and my birthday is no exemption.
And thus, the day of my taciturn birthday will come to an end… and I hope when I woke up tomorrow, this disappointment will simply fade away inside me.
P.S. If you want to know how lonely the song I’m listening to, here take a listen here: